As I sit here tonight thinking and reflecting on the things that have happened in my life just in the past month, it is almost surreal. God has been with me every step of the way, right in the center of everything. I have had talks with Him, I have prayed to Him, and I have been trying to tune in to listen to Him.
On Father's Day, June 17, 2012, Jacob was baptized. I was asked to come back home with Jacob. Lots of emotions ran wild that week, only to discover two weeks later that was not going to become a reality. However, in the midst of all of that emotional rollercoaster ride, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God was right there with me as he told me something. I was at the park with Jacob and God revealed something to me. It took a little bit for me to let it sink in, but at that moment, I knew God truly had my life in His hands. I knew he wanted me to be happy. He gave me a choice. I took it and ran with it.
I may never truly understand the depth of Jesus's suffering or God's love, but what I already know and have experienced is nothing but good...
So, tonight almost a month after reconciliation was mentioned and considered, we have filed for divorce and I have closed another chapter in my life besides this. My impending divorce is not closed and won 't be for a while honestly because we do want to keep Jacob happy...but I also know that good things and good times are waiting for me just around the corner.
Keep hope alive and believe that with Jesus at your side, you really are....
Stronger in HIS Grip!
Renae
