Strong Enough

For the past few hours, this song has been cruising its way through my head...it's not on any of my playlists; in fact, I don't remember the last time I heard it on the radio but it couldn't have been that long ago.  Anyway, maybe it's my cry to God that I really am unsure about this whole thing...the life I have to live now...without the one constant I hoped would always be there.  God is there, He's here with me RIGHT NOW...maybe He is teaching me to RELY solely on HIM, not anyone else...Well, actually, I know that's what He's doing...

Someone Like You (who are you??)

Someone Like You...

It's really THAT obvious, perhaps to a fault...I'm not looking right now because all of this is just too fresh, but doesn't every girl dream of her ideal guy?  I know I always did...Maybe I had him and was too stupid to see it, maybe I thought I did but wasn't totally sure...Whatever my situation is or was, what I do know is that God's got to be in the details...HE knows what I want and what I need...His timing is not my timing (and just for the record...I hate the word "timing"...) Think about it, maybe you'll understand why I hate it so much!!  Anyway, Adele pretty much covers my thoughts in this song...

As a side note, today is Memorial Day and I remember those who have fought for me and died serving this country...♥

Getting Back Up

Today, I've definitely felt like I've been knocked down, but realized that God was right there, picking me right back up.  Being in the middle..and I mean SMACK DAB MIDDLE of a separation about to go through with paperwork for a divorce that I never really saw coming...has made me realize that even when I have no control over anything around me, GOD still is the controller of the universe...of MY life...my simple life...OH WAIT...if one adjective described me it would NOT be simple; there I go rambling again...


I will admit that while I may not have seen this divorce coming, the situation that led to the divorce was a long way coming...I'm not gonna spill it for the whole wide world to know...the main thing is that I am going through it.  I am living through it.  I am enduring it.  AM I HAPPY?  not everyday...I still want to talk to my husband because he is still MY husband, but the feeling's not reciprocated.  One of my strengths is empathy...I tend to believe I am almost too empathetic to a fault at times...But, I guess there is a reason for that as well.  AM I SAD?  sometimes I cry my big green eyes out until I think there are NO more tears I can possibly cry; but it still doesn't help...sure, it helps for a day or so until I realize there is nothing I can do on this planet to change or UNDO my situation.  I know God could restore it, but I'm not so sure He wants to...not yet at least.  Maybe never...HE is the KEEPER of the stars NOT me...thank goodness!


Today I think my lesson has been that no matter how hard I try to talk to my husband, he's just not going to be there anymore...God wants to be there for me...HE wants to show me how to depend on HIM...HE is seeking ME.  HE loves me more than I ever realized and you know what?  He won't ever disappoint me or not take my "calls".  Even funnier than anything else I've learned today is that I won't be knocked down forever, I will get back up, and I will SHINE brighter than ever before.  


Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the thoughts that I think towards you , says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (NKJV).

What's Happening?

Life is funny...we go through it and one day BAM! out of the blue something unexpected happens and we're left with all kinds of questions...I was.  I am moving forward in my life...slowly...but one thing that has been such a sweet constant is the love of Jesus and His comfort during this new journey in my life.  Through scripture reading, music, and the love that I am finding all around me...I am beginning to realize now, MORE THAN EVER, that Jesus really does have me In His Grip and wants me to be strong in Him.  So, with that said... I will become stronger because He has me in His grip!